Never Been Touched
by RomanceGuru
Summary: River wants a boy for her birthday. PreRayne Pt. 1 of 2. R&R appreciated. :


Title: Never Been Touched pt.(1/2)

Prompt: _River wants a boy for her birthday, _for the fireflyholidays birthday fic challenge at LJ.

A/N: 1 yr & 1 month post-BDM.

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Jayne emerged from the bath, his clean clothes sticking to the parts where he was still damp, and feeling all the more relaxed after a long day of tedious gruntwork. With his old clothes stuffed in a bundle under his arm, he headed towards his bunk, where he planned to look at some pictures and then work himself good and happy before calling it a night.

But the raised voices coming from Simon's room caused him to slow his pace as he passed by, pausing nosily. The door was slid open a sliver, allowing River's insistent voice and a crack of amber light to spill into the darkened passageway.

"You're not listening! You can't offer and then snatch the sentiment away. Indian giver!"

"River, you're being irrational. This isn't a realistic option."

"Nineteen tomorrow and untouched. What else is there left to want?"

"A new dress?" Simon offered hopefully. When that didn't work, he pushed the envelope as far as he could. "Ok, a gun."

"Current weapon operates adequately." River collected herself, speaking resolutely. "I've made up my mind, Simon. It's the only thing missing."

Simon let out a long sigh. "I just don't feel comfortable pur…acquiring things of that nature, from a stranger nonetheless, for my own _sister_. You can understand that, can't you?"

"No." River answered flatly, suddenly tired of playing innocent, broken little sis. " It's just sex. The merging of two bodies with the goal of mutual gratification." She paused and then added plainly. "Not going to war."

Jayne, still listening intently, perked up at that, an amused grin spreading across his face. Well that was all kinds of interesting.

Leaning in closer towards the thin door, he shifted his stance, curious as to who was going to win this one.

"I dunno, River." Simon's tone sounded weary, close to surrender. "Give me a bit more time to think it over."

"It's tomorrow night. So angst fast." River encouraged indifferently and turned towards the door to leave.

Battling Simon's overprotective tendencies was a daily struggle River was immune to. She just hoped he'd get over this hang up quicker than he had the others. _There were so many._ Lilac… her first intoxication…tattoos with Kaylee…It was hard for him to accept that she'd want live like her crew. That she was growing up._ Grown_.

"_Hao shui_, _gei gei_." River wished her brother good night affectionately as if they hadn't just been fighting.

Sliding the door open, she hurried out and closed it behind her. Preoccupied with the fantasy of a male body soon to be all her own, River turned and slammed hard into a chest full of Jayne.

Jayne caught River instinctively by the shoulders to keep her from falling on her ass. His eyebrows raised insinuatingly as he came in contact with a whole mess of bare skin, cool underneath his steady grip. She was wearing a little slip of a nightdress, clingy and thin. Too thin. Jayne gulped, his eyes stuck on girl parts, looking not so girly. Not no more.

River, who had grabbed his arm to steady herself, looked up at the merc with a furrowed brow. His presence right outside Simon's door was strangely suspicious. Then she noticed where his gaze was concentrated and felt an embarrassed heat rise to the top of her skin.

Self-consciously, she let go of his bicep, straightened her stance, and crossed her arms to cover her chest. "How much did you hear?" River accused.

Jayne pulled his eyes up to her face, and feigned innocence. "Hear what?" But he was still smiling, quiet lewdly.

River rolled her eyes and brushed past Jayne, crossing the hall towards her room. He was so rudimentary she could read him _without_ reading him.

"_What?_" Jayne exclaimed, walking backwards with her. "I think it's _dou ren xi ai_, you wanting ta git sexed up."

River entered her room and turned to face him, arms once again defensively crossed. Jayne hung back at the entrance, resting his forearm on the frame, and crossed his legs, looking ever so smug. "Tell ya what, I'll even pitch in."

Looking up at Jayne, unamused, River had never wanted to hit him more. Well, besides the other ten times. She didn't know why this knowing bothered her so. He always teased her, and her him. But this was…personal, private and none of his business.

He was pulling at his pockets, gathering loose coin and slowly adding the amount in the palm of his hand. "Now this might git ya past tea an' formalities." Jayne posed, still looking down at his hand. "But I gather we can start a collection just fer the occasion."

River turned red, her emotions running wild, bordering on irrational. Pushing him from her room forcefully, she didn't trust herself to speak. Slamming the door shut, she stood back and glared at it, seething.

"You know?" Jayne called from behind the door, his voice deep and brazen. "I can give ya yer birthday present. Won't even charge a dime."

That was it! Sliding the door back open, River leaned out. "I want my birthday to be happy, Jayne. Sleeping with you would moot the point." Watching his face drop, River smiled contentedly and closed him from her view a final time.

_Moot the what? _Jayne scratched his head, picked up his bundle of laundry up from the floor, and shot River's door a bamboozled look before leaving.

So was that a no, right?

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River spent the morning of her birthday waiting on pins and needles. They had landed on Persephone hours before and most of the crew was already topside, but River could only pace about her quarters like a princess waiting to be let out of her tower.

Aside from clarity, and a place to belong, she had never wanted something so much. Not just because everyone else coupled as they pleased, unintentionally taunting her with their waves of uninhibited desire, but it went beyond suggestion and curiosity; she was truly ready to give herself completely to nimble hands, trust the unknown, and that was important.

It meant she was almost fully emancipated from diffident bonds that had trapped her for so long, kept her from truly being free.

She heard footsteps stop just outside her door, hesitating as the person lingered there, neither knocking nor entering.

River pulled open the door impatiently, knowing it was her brother, stalling as usual.

As she peered up at him, she allowed herself to hope, but his expression wasn't giving anything away.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Simon finally spoke up. "It's been arranged…" Before he could continue, River broke into a wide smile and threw her arms around her brother.

"Thank you. Thank you, Simon."

Holding her at arm's length, Simon looked sternly into River's eyes. "Just promise me you'll use your best judgment. Don't be afraid to _look_, weigh their intentions. You don't owe them anything. Especially discretion."

River nodded, ready to agree to any stipulations; she was that elated. He trusted her, and that felt powerful.

Simon took an envelope from his vest and handed it to River. "This should be enough." River took the money, eyes shining. "Inara wants to take you shopping before, so you can pick out some formal wear. And the crew wants to take you to dinner and…"

"And I love you." River cut Simon off, pecking him on the cheek. Quickly fitting herself with gun and holster, she threw on her jacket and smiled at her brother one last time before going to find Inara.

Simon rubbed the back of his neck, watching her go, and feeling like he was saying goodbye to the sister he'd never anticipated would lead a normal life. Maybe he should try and be happy, if only for that reason.

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The establishment the crew ended up dining in was a little rough around the edges. Half restaurant, half bar, it was filled with local color, loud and packed tight. It was perfect for the group which situated in the round, each taking their turns spouting off their favorite memories about and for the birthday girl.

Inara and River stuck out like sore thumbs, dressed to the nines in rich satins and delicious perfumes, geared up for the companions' ball afterwards. The affair was a once a year event, where select customers from all over the 'verse were invited to meet and greet the glamorous companions.

It was a way to mix up the standard course of business and attract new clientele. At the end of the night, the goal was that both companion and customer make a unique connection.

River, finished with dinner, folded her hands on her lap and listened attentively to Zoe go on about the time the preacher's wild hair had sent her running for safety. Most were off the boat at the time, but every time that tale was retold, it elicited endless laughter, as found memories of Shepherd Book often did.

"I feared a collapse." River murmured sheepishly, remembering the days when everything was grossly exaggerated in her mind, abstract.

"And I don't doubt it." Zoe sympathized and smiled, putting her arm around the girl next to her. "First time was a shock to us both."

After the laughter died down, Jayne, who was situated on the other side of River, took in a mouth full of drink, sucking in a sharp breath as the liquid burned a pleasant trail down throat. "Ok. I gots one."

The bunch sat a little straighter in their chairs, both surprised and curious.

"You have something nice to add?" Mal admonished, practically choking on his food. "Exactly how much have you had to drink now?"

Jayne frowned. "Hey now, I can be affable."

"When you're liquored." Mal expressed again.

"Oh, an' when ya visit the lady-folk." Kaylee threw in.

"Or when I'm getting paid." Jayne added to the list. His eyes were glazed over at being reminded of all the things that made a man like him happy.

Snapping out of his reverie, Jayne continued. "Never mind all that. There's times I can stand the girl." Pausing, Jayne grinned a little before adding, "And she weren't even doped or chained up at the times neither."

River shot him a penetrating look, and Jayne's grin widened further. Lately it was so easy to get her riled. It was his new favorite thing.

He cast another glace at River before continuing. She was looking at him in a dissecting manner, eyes all big and brown and cutting. He couldn't help but notice that she looked especially _swai_ all shined up.

"Well, get on with it." Kaylee encouraged, smiling eagerly and slipping her hand into Simon's underneath the table.

"This should be interesting." Simon noted dryly, squeezing Kaylee's hand back and giving her a reserved smile.

"It was when we were on Highgate 'bout 2 months back." Jayne began. "Job was gittin' the magistrates daughter back from that brainwashing, no good son of a bitch that ran the place. Christian town if I recall, real conservative folk. So ta blend in, you had Loony-bird here an' me pose as marrieds." Jayne gestured to River but looked squarely at Mal.

"A mistake I won't soon revisit." Mal injected, reflecting on the mess that had been. "You two fightin' in the middle of town central weren't exactly my idea of laying low."

"I remember now." A slow smile captured Inara's expression. "You didn't want to take River's hand, and it upset her."

"Refused to play the part." River remembered sorely.

"How is this a happy memory again?" Simon snarked.

"Lemme git to it." Jayne exasperated, his boot tapping impatiently at all the interruptions. This wasn't exactly going as planned. "Anysuch, I weren't too keen on the idea seein' as…"

"You don't like me." River interjected dryly. She hated that he couldn't even address her directly when he spoke, like she was something to be avoided.

Jayne looked over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes at River. "_Gorammit_, can I say the story er not_?" _

"It's true." River mumbled defensively. The past echoed loudly in her mind, it was evidence enough.

"If it were, wouldn'ta spoken up now, would I?" Jayne was surprised to find himself so hot around the collar. "Ah, fergit it." Slinking back into his chair, he lit up a cigar and puffed on it resignedly. The moment had passed.

Truth was, ever since he'd found out she'd wanted a piece, he couldn't help but look at her differently. Like a living, breathing, viable woman. One that had needs. Not that he didn't always find her cute. Hell, every gorram woman on the boat was fantasizable.

But knowing she had desires like the rest of them suddenly made her all kinds of appealing, and he found it hard to concentrate on much else since.

River eyed Jayne, feeling somewhat guilty. He seemed to really be trying. It wasn't like him to go out of his way. It was true most of the time they didn't get along, but there _were _moments. Little things, like him making sure her weapons were functioning properly before a job, or how sometimes he paid special attention to things she was doing, even if it was just to make a skeptical remark. He always seemed aware and that made her feel a little less invisible sometimes.

Yes, maybe Jayne Cobb wasn't _so_ bad.

Making sure the rest of the group was engaged, River leaned over in an attempt to lighten the tension between them. "You like playing house." She whispered near his ear, taking a wild and knowingly incorrect stab about his unspoken sentiments. Part of her was still curious.

Jayne, now listening to Kaylee talk, muttered distractedly out the side of his mouth, his cigar still hanging idly between his teeth. "What was that now?"

"What you were going to admit. Think I'd make a fine wife." River clarified, a lightness in her proclamation. When she had Jayne's full attention, ice-blue blue eyes suddenly rapt, she added dismissively, "But it wouldn't work out."

Jayne's lips curled up to a half-smile and his eyes gleamed mischievously. The girl was teasing him. Flirting, if he weren't mistaken. "Yeah? Why's that?" He played along, enjoying this bit of dialogue.

River contemplated the logical factors. "Well, I can't cook and you work too much."

Jayne's grinned widened. He didn't know matrimonial talk could get him this excitable. "Why else?" Flashes of the girl in his bunk all regular-like dominated his brain. _Ai ya_! It'd been way too long since he'd had some tasty.

"Captain would murder you and Simon would choke." River expressed with certainty, then became distracted as she could both feel and see what Jayne was thinking. There was lust, but something else, the possibility of happiness, and she allowed herself to linger there for just a moment.

"That all?" Jayne mused. "Think we could make it work."

"No." River blurted suddenly, and her smile faltered as the word came out of her mouth. "Good things never last."

_Where did that come from? _Her brain was always speaking unprocessed words. It was getting very warm in here. Maybe she was malfunctioning from heat stroke?

Jayne raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Good things, huh? Well, that was…_something_, he thought silently. He didn't think she was interested in him in that way, but hell if it didn't help his chances.

There was an awkward silence between them after that. River looked away and busied herself with the end of her napkin, and Jayne set to finishing his cigar, both occasionally peeking glances at the other.

When it seemed that was the all the conversation they were going to have, the merc finally spoke up. His voice was weighty, like he'd been doing some serious thinking. He lowered his tone so the rest of the group wouldn't hear.

"It was when ya stood up ta that _hun dun_ cult leader, after the fight thereabouts, an' afore we got pinched." For some reason, Jayne was compelled to tell her what he was unable to before.

"Spoke up at that town meetin' where was stationed, pointin' out the hypocrisies an' such." He continued. "Got the town ta think fer themselves. Guess what I'm sayin' is, I like that ya speak yer mind, an' that ya don't take _go se _from no one, including myself, much as I give it." Jayne watched the girl's face, trying to read her, but she was expressionless and silent.

"Anyhow, that's what I was gonna say before." He finished, feeling strangely relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted. He looked around the table and noticed that everyone had gone off.

River was speechless and suddenly entirely too self-conscious. The way he was looking at her made her feel branded, so she looked down and fidgeted with her dress. She almost wished he would insult her, anything to make things normal again.

Jayne reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a small, thin piece of cardboard, handing it over. "Here."

River looked up and took it, examining it carefully. It was an old wavecard with a night shot of Londinium on the front. It was faded, and the corners were worn, like he'd picked it up years ago. River turned it over read to the standard greeting, _"Past, present and future. Come experience a taste of true civilization."_

Directly under, Jayne had simply scrawled,

_Don't kiss'm on the mouth. _

_P.s. My offer still stands. _

When River looked up over the card, her eyes wide, she caught Jayne grinning a little, but looking away. Heat flooded her body once again as it hit her. _He was serious. _The thought of sex, _with him_, made her fidget uncomfortably.

Lifting her chin up proudly, River kept her tone curt. "That's sound advice. Thank you, Jayne." Standing abruptly, she suddenly felt the need to flee. It was all was too much to process.

Her eyes darted to his hands, large, where they gripped his cup, and she couldn't help but imagine them on her body, rude and crude and dominating. He was so very primal and raw and the prospect excited her, which in turn frightened her all the more.

This is not how and with whom she'd envisioned her first time. The combination was dangerous, suicide. Turning away, River found Inara at the pool table with Mal and Zoe, observing their game.

"Ready to go?" The companion looked up and asked warmly as she approached.

River turned and looked over her shoulder at Jayne, who had gotten up and made his way to the bar, trying his best not to look in River's direction.

"Yes." She answered, a waver of uncertainty in her voice.

Mal looked up from his pool cue at the two girls, an old and familiar pang of jealously rising to the surface. Except he had learned to keep his trap shut. Inara weren't his to hold back or down. Guess they were similar in that way.

"Let me say goodbye to Simon and Kaylee first." River declared and made her way over to the dart board. As she walked towards the back, something forced her to look at Jayne again. Suddenly, he was a whole new creature, and she couldn't figure him out.

When she found them, Kaylee was laughing at Simon's bad aim, practically doubled over in a fit of giggles, her brother red as a beat. She placed her hand on the mechanic's shoulder. "We're leaving." She yelled over the rising chatter. "Wanted to thank you."

Kaylee turned and smiled bright. "Ok. Why for?"

"Know you talked him into it." River pointed out, looking over at Simon.

"Easy peasy." Kaylee exclaimed, her eyes sparkling mischievously as she leaned into whisper, "Amazin' what the promise of separate bunks can accomplish."

After that, they shared a moment of understanding and a hug. "Remember." Kaylee announced as she pulled back from the embrace. "I want details when ya get back. So come straight away, no matter the time."

Simon fidgeted uncomfortably listening to this. Even though this was what his sister wanted, he still didn't feel comfortable sending her off to be paraded about a sea of certified piranhas, who would most likely never deem River as more than a paying customer. He knew she deserved more than that, but he hugged her anyways, and wished her a happy birthday one last time.

Jayne slammed back another drink as he watched the River leave with Inara to go get herself some fancyified trim. Couldn't say that he was exactly surprised, or happy, but that was the way of it. And he supposed if he were in her shoes, he'd have picked the other guy too.

TBC….

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Chinese:

_dou ren xi ai - Cute. _

_Bai tuo , an jing yi dian - _We will enjoy your silence now

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